Blog: Just don’t stop laughing but please stop those shutdowns ?

Already been a while since I posted a new update regarding my health… Sorry for that but was to tired or to busy with passing out… ? Yep reading that correct the troubles still aren’t solved since my last update. I know I was talking about things getting better and I really believed that! Mentioned even that I should resume work for a few hours a day from home the week after my last post, and I did that for sure!


Reintegrate with my natural world

Reintegrating at work started with plain simple work with no deadlines. Most of the work was administrative tasks like reconciliation user rights between different administrations. Yes even in times of automation these tasks needs to be done by hand to collect the evidence for audits (and every customer is asking for a different set of rules with their audits). Best part was helping users again with the troubles and issues they run into during my absence. Proves to me that they miss me. Other best prove about that is that my customer did extend my contract for another three months till the end of June. Yeah!?

So reintegrating at work is one of those things that made me survive my days otherwise I would run up against the walls at my place. But it does drain your energy levels to, but sleeping didn’t go that well. Sleeping a short period and then waking up again with the pain in my chest. Killing ain’t the right word here I know! But it doesn’t make you feel better waking up every time and then falling back to sleep with the same pain isn’t easy. Your mind runs everywhere with you during those times in the dark.

I also had my short bike rides, and was lucky with some good weather. I could even bring my old and beloved camera because I bought a new backpack with a hip belt so I could carry it with me, without putting pressure on my chest.

Common Starlings

Still wasn’t allowed to drive the car, but I’m still very lucky with all those sweet people surrounding me. Like my girlfriend, parents in law , my own parents, friends like @dboontje and @smalltall etc. for driving me around, stopping by for a cup of coffee having a laugh and everything. Although the visits to my favorite beaches where exhausting and made the pain in the chest feel worse during the night they still made me feel alive while enjoying the sound of the waves, the birds playing in the wind, sand blowing around and that smell of salty water hmmmm. Oh wait I do even smell that inside my house that one isn’t counting!

In between I went to the doctor multiple times for checkups and all the tests didn’t show anything so at the beginning of March he told me I should start trying to drive my car again because the last time I passed out has been a while. Just start with someone sitting next to me and doing a small drive to the next village for some shopping. To rebuild some faith sitting behind the wheel and trusting my own body again.

Zwaakse Weel
Zwaakse Weel
Bike ride
Bike ride

Not loving it when a plan doesn’t come together

I was planning to do some swimming and start driving again last week. Well those things didn’t happen… On a Tuesday evening just after my vitamin D walk during a beautiful sunset. Luckily, I had brought my camera with me during the walk. I didn’t miss that shot, look at that beauty!


After the walk I went to my parents place and have a chat there. I passed out again while drinking some cofee together with my parents. I emptied my cup and placed it back on the table and while leaning back to return in my seat I found myself on the ground again. Yep another night at the hospital… Guess what they couldn’t find anything again.

One of the doctors thought it could be a rib that wasn’t 100% perfect aligned. But he couldn’t feel or see anything because my muscles where so tense at that time. He advised me to go to a chiropractor/manual therapist to have him/her check my ribs. Same night my parents called with an acquaintance and he came right away. All he could do was using some dry-needling and manipulating some parts because my muscles where to stressed. So he did use some of that magic tape that did wonders for my backpain to release the pressure a bit from my chest, think you can notice the difference in image quality between my phone and my camera. ?


Note to self: Relax!

Few days later I did return but there was still to much pressure on my muscles, but the positive side, the needles he could finally use! So yesterday I went there for another checkup, but he couldn’t find anything yet. So next week I’ll return again. He advised me to start doing some swimming, as this would help to relax for my muscles after using them.

In between those visits I went to see the general practioner at my place as well. He thought I had so much fear that build up so much tension in my chest that I was constantly stretching the inflammation. He made the comparison with a crust on top of a healing wound. While that crust is somewhere in the middle of your arm it won’t move and heal quickly, but when it is on your knee constantly moving and stretching healing takes a lot longer. Same in my chest… But a human being needs to breath air so can’t stop moving there!

An apple a day doesn’t keep the doctor away

Last Friday I was just finished with my work for that day and I lay down on the couch. At that moment my whole room started to rotate. So as good and as fast as I could I grabbed my jacket and went out to see the general practioner. I was there right in time, so he could see it happen live but all the things like heartbeat, bloodpressure, bloodsugar where doing fine… so frustrating! So he gave me some pills that would set my subconsciosness in a lower gear so that I could finally sleep the whole night. To bad these pills aren’t paid by my medical assurance, but believe me those things make you trip and sleep like a little baby. So all worth the $$$. If only I could produce these in Drugwars I would be the druglord in that game while I’m a failure playing it now hehe. ?


So what’s next..?

Tonight I’m going to follow the advice and try to swim a few lanes. Lucky me I’m still part of a swimming team so some people will look at me tonight while I’m there in the pool. I also got a referral from the general practioner to return to the hospital and see a cardiologists again and do more checkups for example some test to see if I got a hyperventilation syndrome and a holter recording and other things the doctors could think off. But I need to wait for a letter from the hospital with a date for an appointment…

Normal life won’t be there yet, already running behind at my monthly challenge because we’re already in March and I still haven’t completed my post about February. Yes the pictures are done, those things keep me a bit going. Thinking about concepts while resting a little bit is still possible! ? In the mean time I’m still doing my vitamin D walks and it depends on the weather if those are in the afternoon or in the evening during some stunning sunsets.


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